[. Chick Habit .]

.Go Ahead, Fuck With Me. I Dare You.
.We'll Eat You Alive.

.hang up the chick habit.
.hang it up, daddy.
.or you'll be alone in a quick.
.hang up the chick habit.
.hang it up, daddy.
.or you'll never get another fix.

.i'm telling you it's not a trick.
.pay attention, don't be thick.
.or you're liable to get licked.

.you're gonna see the reason why.
.when they're spitting in your eye.
.they'll be spitting in your eye..

.hang up the chick habit.
.hang it up, daddy.
.a girl's not a tonic or a pill.
.hang up the chick habit.
.hang it up, daddy.
.you're just jonesing for a spill.

.oh, how your bubble's gonna burst.
.when you meet another nurse.
.she'll be driving in a hearse.

.you're gonna need a heap of glue.
.when they all catch up with you.
.and they cut you up in two.

.now your ears are ringing.
.the birds have stopped their singing.
.everything is turning grey.

.no candy in your till.
.no cutie left to thrill.
.you're alone on a tuesday.

.hang up the chick habit.
.hang it up, daddy.
.or you'll be alone in a quick.
.hang up the chick habit.
.hang it up, daddy.
.or you'll never get another fix.

.i'm telling you it's not a trick.
.pay attention, don't be thick.
.or you're liable to get licked.

.you're gonna see the reason why.
.when they're spitting in your eye.
.they'll be spitting in your eye.

---Tonight, I really didn't get to blog about what really has inspired me for the night. Heh, I don't want a panicked boyfriend. So you'll have to deal with it.

Inside I decided to surface something I found remarkable.

I hate digging up a old grace where I buried skeletons of my past, but I think I have to vent over it. It's something I see way too much.

When people fall fools to false presumptions of the heart.

There is so many sides to this. And for you that can't see outside the box, I mean cheating.

In the beginning we're animals. We have two basic instincts, but overtime we were able to conquer one, and control it. Out of self-preserve, and species-preserve.. its species-preserve. Fight or flight, most of us are able to control the baby making instinct. Don't believe me? You -have not- met my best friend, Megan.

Megan, is the butterfly to my moth. She is my equal, twin, but polar opposite in a lot of aspects. Not this. You should see how we talk on the long rides in her car. (and then how quickly our A.D.H.D. kicks in when some loud, obnoxious, booty shaking song comes on the radio shuts us up.) She doesn't want kids. I respect her for that. I, myself, don't really know if I do or not. Soon? Hell no. Awe... I'm dragging away from the subject.

I leave names of the stories I tell unmentioned. Yet, they feel they are documents that are stuck within the cell of my cranium.

Happy relationship. Beautiful, happy, healthy, consistent. Yet, something happens that wasn't planned. Pregnancy. Its a scary thing. They get married immediately, and begin to plan. Both moving in with each other. Then a sudden ugliness is brought out in the both of them. The male, loses commitment completely behind the female's back. The female finds out and it breaks her heart, and her trust. They try again, as months go on she keeps swelling with the child she is making. She goes on a trip and he continues his unfaithfulness behind her back, and uses her 'trip' as an excuse. It was rocky.. and he CONTINUED to be unfaithful, and he lied to her face. She had a beautiful baby, and she continued on.. but the scar is still there. The trust is still gone. He is gone, she dropped him from her life like a bad habit.

Why would you destroy all the beauty in your life if in landed in your hand..? Is it so much like a egg, that its shell is so fragile that a mere flinch of your hand could crack it? One bad decision set off a chain reaction like a bad chemistry project? Its mind boggling. What hits home so hard with me... is.. that could happen to me. Someone could destroy me like that.. I've been knocked down hard before, but nothing like that.

A young kid, a person who didn't even know what she wanted. He wanted. It wanted. I'm sure they didn't know where they place themselves in the world. They will one day, and will realize just exactly how beautiful they are. What ever they choose to be. Yet beautiful things can do such mean things, even when they didn't mean to be mean. Portray themselves to be several other people, but themselves. They gain friends, these different alternatives knowing each other, happiness. Yet the core of the soul was broken and bleeding. Neediness. This person talks as if the home they live in doesn't appreciate how special they are. Desperate, hopeless romantic, we love you. No worries. Yet, what they did was wrong. Coiling a love relationship around lies. Fake alias, fake picture, fake life, fake stories.. I was too smart to let the mask shield them the way it did. I fell onto them by accident, but I think it was fate. I was their 7th tarot card. I was their reality slap. Now that the truth was out, the burden is gone, but the rain is pouring down hate, distrust, negativity. I don't blame them, I did it too. I'm guilty for the same sort of things when I was their age. I got a grip on myself. I hope they do too.

Pretending for love? Exactly how far would you go with a lie for wholeness? Its a habit. Being so young, and so ripped up.. and begging for a needle to pull yourself together not caring about the damn pain about the suture penetrating the flesh of your spirit. How far? Then I asked myself, and I realized.. I did it for a long time. Its weird how you can look back, and not even know how bad you were being lied to, and hurt.. because you were so numb and desperate.. And it hits you like a train.



How long would you lie to YOURSELF? Kid yourself of deep rooted feelings, and cheat someone out of something genuine just because you didn't want to hurt them.



Do the math, and do not let it happen to you. Drop the habit. Stop cheating. Stop cheating them, and stop cheating yourself.